May 23, 2013

Ineligible to Apply

 
 When I first started working for grant-funded programs dedicated to assisting low-income and disadvantaged populations, I had a lot to learn about what made someone "eligible" for assistance. I had to delve deep into an inquirant's personal life.

Where is your residence?

How much money did your household bring in the last six months?

Do you receive food stamps? Unemployment benefits? Social security?

How old are you?

Are you disabled?

Have you ever been diagnosed with a learning disability?

Ohh.... thanks for playing but you are not eligible to apply for this program. Call again when you have been laid-off and/or lose a foot.

There were so many different answers to so many different questions and the combinations of such were like an intricate symphony determining someone's eligibility for grant money. Answer one question wrong and you could be knocked out. Answer one of the "golden" questions right, and none of the other answers mattered-you were in! For a novice government worker it was overwhelming!

One day I walked down the hall to the office of one of the other case managers who had been with the department for over twenty years and asked for help with a case. Another senior case manager had told me my client was ineligible to apply, but I still had questions. After flipping the file onto my second opinion's desk, I voiced my concerns about the client. She picked it up, scanned the documentation and said, "Yeah she is eligible." I pouted and sat down. I would never get the hang of this! I explained that I was already told by someone else that my client did not qualify. The woman across the desk smirked and said something I will never forget because it has become a metaphor for every discerning moment in my life since.

"Yeah? Well, when that case manager looks at a client file, she looks at every single way they don't qualify, and tries to MAKE them ineligible. When I get a client, I try to look at every way that they ARE eligible. This one is eligible."
Simple as that. Yet, it has taken me years to see how people apply this philosophy in other avenues of their lives. So many people are looking at a person, a group, a theory, or a social principle in a way that already sets them up for disqualifying them from their life.  Are you one of them? Are you trying to find an excuse to distance yourself from the convicted felon who has a kid in your kid's class? Do you pretend to be on the phone when someone of a different race comes into the break room at work? Are you hiding behind your Bible as an excuse to withhold grace from certain "untouchables" in your life? When you meet a new person and they say something you don't agree with, or have a lifestyle that is not in sync with what you feel is right, do you focus on that instead of focusing on all the things you DO have in common?

Are you making people ineligible to apply for a spot in your life? If you are, you are probably missing out on some extremely wonderful, rewarding, and loving relationships. And I feel sorry for you.

Try making everyone eligible. Seek the good and the similar in everyone, and I guarantee you will not regret it.
 

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