I don't understand two things. Ok, there are definitely more than two things I don't understand. But for today, I will just focus on two things.

First, I don't understand my computer. Every time I come to work and turn it on I have a little icon that comes up on the bottom right hand corner of my desktop that says, "Updates are ready for your computer!" And I usually ignore it because every time I click on that little icon, Mr. Computer tells me I must restart my computer, and well I just don't have time for that kind of nonsense. So, I go about my business, trying to ignore the fact that my computer is running slow and freezing every fifteen minutes. Finally I break down and decide to update the damn thing.

I click on the icon. It says *Installing 20 updates* or some ridiculous number. It says "Do not shut down. Windows will automatically shut down when updates are installed." So, I go get a soda, and I hang out in the break room. I wait for this stupid computer to get done updating itself. Finally, it is done. I turn it back on. As soon as the desktop comes back on, my icon pops up and says, "New updates are ready for your computer!" What the hell? So, I scold Mr. Computer and tell him he already had his chance and should've updated himself completely. I cannot be held responsible for his procrastination. He has frozen up 36 times since then, but I will not cave in. I must teach him a lesson.

The second thing I don't understand today is the thought process behind certain signs at the grocery store. I saw a sign this weekend for avocados. They were on sale for 58 cents. The sign said, "Normally $1.18" This is a lie. I have been buying avocados there for the last six months and I have literally never paid $1.18 for one. I have paid $2.00 in the off season, and lately they have been 78 cents. What do these people think they are trying to pull? Honestly. Do they think that us regular shoppers have retrograde amnesia, resulting in an overbundance of joy at finding avocados for such a great deal? How many avocados can one person eat in a week before they go bad, anyway? Am I really going to adjust my avocado spending budget because of an imaginary increase in money saved? Doubtful. Highly doubtful. I am on to you, Super Market Sign Guy. I have a mind like a steel trap and I am not going to fall prey to your deceitfulness. No siree...