There seems to be some confusion on what "good" and "bad" really mean to us in everyday language. See, when you are "good," you *don't* do things that most people find morally reprehensible. For instance, being an ADULTERER is bad. Especially for Catholics. They really frown on that sort of thing :( GOOD people think about others and how their actions effect other people around them. BAD people do whatever the fuck they want and pay someone to clean up the aftermath. See how that works? BAD people (I know I am using very elementary language on this subject, but that is because I really feel that anything more advanced may confuse those who think being a narcissistic asshole is the right way to live), are so confused in their own mind that they sometimes actually start believing that no matter what they do, Justice and God or Nature of the Universe or Whatever they believe in, is on their side and will smite all in opposition. Sometimes it goes so far as to become a delusion of grandeur--which is a common trait seen in paranoid schizophrenics. Just sayin'.
Now, when someone is actually *good,* Justice (in theory) is on the side of GOOD. So, when you say something like, "Hoping justice will prevail for the good" (or something similar) you would be talking about justice being served for the wife who probably now has a venereal disease because you couldn't keep your penis in your pants while out on your little *work trips.* Or, maybe justice being served would mean that your new little tart face steals every cent you have while banging your co-worker every night on your desk. Who knows? But do you see how that works now? Justice for the Good, means that the one who is actually in the wrong gets taken to the cleaners. Not the other way around. But I can see how that gets confusing for someone who has no moral compass. It can be really tricky. I mean, most people develop empathy and compassion before elementary school, but some people are just slow, I guess ;)
P.S. No, just because you *say* you are Catholic doesn't count as being moral. Sorry. You may actually have to act like a decent person to NOT burn in hell--so good luck with that.
June 19, 2009
June 6, 2009
A New Proposal: The Stupid Tax
No, I am not calling taxes *stupid.* I am proposing that whenever someone does something insanely moronic we tax that person. The fee will positively correlate with the level of stupidity. For instance, you drive the wrong way down a one way street absolutely littered with ONE WAY signs, you pay a couple hundred bucks. If you call 911 because McDonald's is out of chicken McNuggets, that's a thousand dollars. If you run into me on the highway because you are texting while driving, well not only should you face the law, but you also get slammed with a "Stupid Tax" of fifty dollars per word you texted while behind the wheel, you idiot.
Think about it. I bet California would be back in the black within the first month.
Now, for repeat offenders, I suggest mandatory attendance for a Common Sense class. Sure, it will probably be hard to find enough teachers to teach these classes (my very unofficial figures hypothesize there are about 5,875 idiots for every one person with actual common sense in our nation right now--and it is only getting worse out there). These classes will last for an undetermined length of time--however long it takes for the morons to pass a test showing that they are in fact capable of thinking beyond themselves and their own bubbles of security. Unfortunately, I am quite sure some offenders would be lifers...
Think about it. I bet California would be back in the black within the first month.
Now, for repeat offenders, I suggest mandatory attendance for a Common Sense class. Sure, it will probably be hard to find enough teachers to teach these classes (my very unofficial figures hypothesize there are about 5,875 idiots for every one person with actual common sense in our nation right now--and it is only getting worse out there). These classes will last for an undetermined length of time--however long it takes for the morons to pass a test showing that they are in fact capable of thinking beyond themselves and their own bubbles of security. Unfortunately, I am quite sure some offenders would be lifers...
April 3, 2009
The Today Show and other Psuedo-News
So, I am really sick and tired of the media talking about the economy. I am especially sick of hearing people who are not having a hard time right now, giving advice about how to deal with the economy! Jean Chatsky was on the Today show this morning talking about how UNbelievable it is that SO many people are unprepared for a job loss. She had NO idea why everyone isn't throwing money into savings accounts since pretty much EVERYONE in today's job market should assume they could lose their job at any time.
Really? You don't believe that 51% of people don't have savings, Jean Chatsky? You don't understand that in today's world, just because you HAVE a job, that doesn't mean you are well off? You don't understand that many two-income families are having to live paycheck to paycheck because their property taxes have doubled in two years, insurance premiums have sky-rocketed, grocery prices have sky-rocketed, employers are cutting hours? If you don't understand these things, maybe you shouldn't be going on national television talking about how idiotic people who aren't saving for an impending job loss are.
I find it UNbelievable that Chatsky and others like her are still talking about the average family saving money as if it is as simple as giving up Starbucks or the nail salon to make ends meet. Are they fucking kidding us with this horse shit? They talk about saving money as if it is just a matter of giving up tofu take-out or other useless shit that no one needs. NEWSFLASH: For many people, to save enough to be considered *prepared* for a job loss means NOT paying the mortgage, or eating ramen noodles every day. Get off your fucking high horse and quit talking to the American people as if we are all bad children who don't listen. We aren't all squandering money on lavish lifestyles instead of saving money for a rainy day. Some of us live in the real world and even though we know there is a very good chance we will be unemployed in the near future, there isn't a damn thing we can reasonably do to prepare for it.
Really? You don't believe that 51% of people don't have savings, Jean Chatsky? You don't understand that in today's world, just because you HAVE a job, that doesn't mean you are well off? You don't understand that many two-income families are having to live paycheck to paycheck because their property taxes have doubled in two years, insurance premiums have sky-rocketed, grocery prices have sky-rocketed, employers are cutting hours? If you don't understand these things, maybe you shouldn't be going on national television talking about how idiotic people who aren't saving for an impending job loss are.
I find it UNbelievable that Chatsky and others like her are still talking about the average family saving money as if it is as simple as giving up Starbucks or the nail salon to make ends meet. Are they fucking kidding us with this horse shit? They talk about saving money as if it is just a matter of giving up tofu take-out or other useless shit that no one needs. NEWSFLASH: For many people, to save enough to be considered *prepared* for a job loss means NOT paying the mortgage, or eating ramen noodles every day. Get off your fucking high horse and quit talking to the American people as if we are all bad children who don't listen. We aren't all squandering money on lavish lifestyles instead of saving money for a rainy day. Some of us live in the real world and even though we know there is a very good chance we will be unemployed in the near future, there isn't a damn thing we can reasonably do to prepare for it.
March 26, 2009
Connections
I'm pretty sure I have written about not believing in coincidences. I like to pay attention to all the little things going on around me and believe that all those tiny, little, intricate happenings are for a reason. It seems like whenever I am missing somebody or really needing a pick-me-up, I find a sign. Something always occurs to let me know that we are all connected, that we all have a purpose and that the people who are in my life are there on purpose. It isn't just some random chaotic situation, even if I feel like it is sometimes.
So onto my point--the reason I bring this up. Lately I had been feeling kind of lonely and missing my friends and family (who seem to keep flinging themselves all over the country). And it seems like it is harder and harder to stay in touch with some of them. I had been feeling really down about a few friends in particular who I used to talk with all the time, for hours on end. I finally got to get together with one of them a week or so ago, but our third party girl could not make it :( I began thinking that this is just how life is. Sometimes your best friend for years becomes an acquaintance and even though that feeling broke my heart, I knew that this kind of thing happens to many people. And hey, why should I be any different?
Then I got a message on Myspace this week. Yes, I do Myspace. It is a great way to keep up with people I haven't seen in a long time. Anyway, the message was from my long, lost friend. She had noticed my Henry Ford quote I have posted as my personal quote on my profile: Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--You're right. I love this quote because it is so true. I even printed it onto a big piece of paper to put up in my office for students to look at. I think it is so important to realize that your attitude really does affect the outcomes in your life. My friend saw this quote and said, "I have that same quote hanging in my classroom for the students to see."
And when I read that, it gave me the warm fuzzies. I didn't know she had ever read that quote, and I am sure she never knew I had, either. Yet we both found it and thought it was inspirational enough to hang somewhere for others to see. Some might say it is just a coincidence, but I don't. It reminded me why we were friends in the first place. We get each other. We think alike and even when we don't think alike, we can still understand the way the other one is thinking. And even though we live far apart and don't have time for hour long phone conversations anymore, we are still connected.
I think too many people these days are too busy to stop and think of all the little things in the universe that are trying to cheer them up. They may be small things, but if you pay attention you may be surprised by how often the ordinary things in life can give you a new appreciation for a situation. Maybe it was your favorite song that came on the radio right after you had a fight with your husband. Maybe it was your mom's pumpkin bread recipe that magically reappeared the day you were really missing her. Maybe it was an old friend calling out of nowhere when you really needed someone to talk to, or wild flowers blooming in your yard when you didn't have time to plant anything. There are so many different ways God can talk to us and through us... you just have to be open to them.
Ok, preaching over now...
So onto my point--the reason I bring this up. Lately I had been feeling kind of lonely and missing my friends and family (who seem to keep flinging themselves all over the country). And it seems like it is harder and harder to stay in touch with some of them. I had been feeling really down about a few friends in particular who I used to talk with all the time, for hours on end. I finally got to get together with one of them a week or so ago, but our third party girl could not make it :( I began thinking that this is just how life is. Sometimes your best friend for years becomes an acquaintance and even though that feeling broke my heart, I knew that this kind of thing happens to many people. And hey, why should I be any different?
Then I got a message on Myspace this week. Yes, I do Myspace. It is a great way to keep up with people I haven't seen in a long time. Anyway, the message was from my long, lost friend. She had noticed my Henry Ford quote I have posted as my personal quote on my profile: Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--You're right. I love this quote because it is so true. I even printed it onto a big piece of paper to put up in my office for students to look at. I think it is so important to realize that your attitude really does affect the outcomes in your life. My friend saw this quote and said, "I have that same quote hanging in my classroom for the students to see."
And when I read that, it gave me the warm fuzzies. I didn't know she had ever read that quote, and I am sure she never knew I had, either. Yet we both found it and thought it was inspirational enough to hang somewhere for others to see. Some might say it is just a coincidence, but I don't. It reminded me why we were friends in the first place. We get each other. We think alike and even when we don't think alike, we can still understand the way the other one is thinking. And even though we live far apart and don't have time for hour long phone conversations anymore, we are still connected.
I think too many people these days are too busy to stop and think of all the little things in the universe that are trying to cheer them up. They may be small things, but if you pay attention you may be surprised by how often the ordinary things in life can give you a new appreciation for a situation. Maybe it was your favorite song that came on the radio right after you had a fight with your husband. Maybe it was your mom's pumpkin bread recipe that magically reappeared the day you were really missing her. Maybe it was an old friend calling out of nowhere when you really needed someone to talk to, or wild flowers blooming in your yard when you didn't have time to plant anything. There are so many different ways God can talk to us and through us... you just have to be open to them.
Ok, preaching over now...
March 13, 2009
Stop Signs
I know stop signs are tricky for some people. Especially four-way stops. So I am going to break it down for everyone. See, negotiating a stop sign is a two part process. You must stop. Then you must look. Repeat after me: Stop and Look. Stopping is pretty self-explanatory. You must stop at the line. If there is no line, do not pull past the stop sign itself. But you aren't done, yet! Nope. Let's explore the second half of the rule: LOOKING!!!
Now I must admit, that if you at least stop you are more intelligent than many of your fellow drivers. But just because you stopped, doesn't mean it is safe to go. I know life is unfair. But, the stop sign isn't a magic button that makes all the other drivers on the road disappear from your path. So you must LOOK before pulling into the intersection. If there is another car, you must wait until they are gone before you can go. They have the right-of-way. It is tricky, but with some practice I am sure you will get the hang of it. This is especially important when cross traffic does NOT have to stop. That means, if you don't look before pulling out, there is a good chance someone is going to plow your ass off the road. And it will be your fault. So, I hope you have good insurance.
Now let's talk about four-way stops. These seem to befuddle many drivers today. I should know because I have to stop at a huge four-way stop everyday on my way to and from work. Here are some tips.
1) You must stop.
2) You must look! (see how easy? same rules as for a 2-way stop!)
3) If someone else got to their stop sign first, they get to go before you. It is just like taking turns when you were in grade school. Same concept. My three year old daughter has mastered this concept, so I have faith that you can, too.
4) If you and another driver arrive at your stop signs at the same time, the one to the right gets to go first. If you don't know where the right is, please drive off a cliff.
5) Just because the person in front of you stopped at the stop sign, doesn't mean YOU don't have to. This is the trickiest rule. I know it seems like you should be able to go just because the person ahead already stopped, but it doesn't work that way! You still have to wait your turn!
6) If you need to turn at the intersection, turn your fucking blinker on so the person across from you doesn't think it is safe to cross at the same time. There is no reason two people can't use the intersection at the same time as long as everyone follows the rules!
See? See how easy?
Now I must admit, that if you at least stop you are more intelligent than many of your fellow drivers. But just because you stopped, doesn't mean it is safe to go. I know life is unfair. But, the stop sign isn't a magic button that makes all the other drivers on the road disappear from your path. So you must LOOK before pulling into the intersection. If there is another car, you must wait until they are gone before you can go. They have the right-of-way. It is tricky, but with some practice I am sure you will get the hang of it. This is especially important when cross traffic does NOT have to stop. That means, if you don't look before pulling out, there is a good chance someone is going to plow your ass off the road. And it will be your fault. So, I hope you have good insurance.
Now let's talk about four-way stops. These seem to befuddle many drivers today. I should know because I have to stop at a huge four-way stop everyday on my way to and from work. Here are some tips.
1) You must stop.
2) You must look! (see how easy? same rules as for a 2-way stop!)
3) If someone else got to their stop sign first, they get to go before you. It is just like taking turns when you were in grade school. Same concept. My three year old daughter has mastered this concept, so I have faith that you can, too.
4) If you and another driver arrive at your stop signs at the same time, the one to the right gets to go first. If you don't know where the right is, please drive off a cliff.
5) Just because the person in front of you stopped at the stop sign, doesn't mean YOU don't have to. This is the trickiest rule. I know it seems like you should be able to go just because the person ahead already stopped, but it doesn't work that way! You still have to wait your turn!
6) If you need to turn at the intersection, turn your fucking blinker on so the person across from you doesn't think it is safe to cross at the same time. There is no reason two people can't use the intersection at the same time as long as everyone follows the rules!
See? See how easy?
March 6, 2009
Driving is bad for my blood pressure
Well, those of you who know me well may be surprised that I don't already have 47 blogs about idiots with cars. There are so many freaking moronic drivers out there, and I am usually bitching about some kind of wreckless encounter or near-death-experience I have been exposed to as the result of some self-important retard on a cell-phone, or stuffing their face, or doing make-up, or trying to read a damn book while driving. The scary thing is, though, that a lot of the time, the wreckless incompetent fool isn't doing ANYTHING distracting at all. They are just dumbasses.
I had an especially interesting drive to work today (I only go 10 miles. I can only imagine if I had to go farther). I have decided that you are an idiotic driver if:
1. You cannot figure out the left lane is for passing or turning. Passing or turning. Repeat to yourself. If you are in the left lane going exactly the speed limit, because you have to turn left ten miles down the road, well, you are a moron and shouldn't be surprised to see me behind you, riding your ass, honking incessantly and waving you off the road. Get a clue, move your ass to the right lane so everyone else can get where they need to go.
2. You slam on your brakes every time you see a cop car on the road. I mean, honestly. Do you really think the cop didn't see you going 80 mph, and then stomp on the brake? Give. Me. A. Break. But the scary thing is, most people who do this brake-stomping are already going the speed limit or close to it. Last time I checked most cops didn't pull people over for going the speed limit, so chill the fuck out. You are causing fifty car pile-ups behind you because the rest of us are assuming you are about to run over a small child or that a crater the size of the Grand Canyon has just opened up in the road the way you are frantically braking ahead of us.
3. You have to pull all the way over into oncoming traffic to make a right turn. Honestly. I actually saw someone do this today. If you can't make a right turn from your own lane, then maybe you shouldn't be driving. I can understand if you are in a semi, but most of the time the guilty driver is in a tiny compact or a sedan or something. If you can't handle a bigger car, don't buy one.
4. You assume that just because you clicked your blinker on, that no one is in your way and you have the right to change lanes. Ok, so at least you are ahead of most of the morons who don't even use their blinkers. HOWEVER, just because you flipped that little switch, doesn't actually mean that all the cars in the other lane magically disappeared. You still have to use these little reflective, rectangular doo-hickeys that we like to refer to as *mirrors* or turn your head a little and see if anyone is in your way. Just because I see your blinker doesn't mean I have to slow to a crawl to let you over, or that I myself can get over to let you in. Wait your turn and don't be a jerk.
5. You are wondering what a *blinker* is while reading 4. And I bet there are a lot of you (well, not MY blog readers, but out in the world in general). See, on the left side of your steering column there is a little stick that comes out. If you push it down, it means you want to turn left, or get in the left lane. If you flip it up, it signals that you want to go right or get in the right lane. I know how tricky that must be for some people, but you are going to have to work on it because the rest of us aren't freaking mind-readers and I, for one, have no problem letting you wreck into me.
6. You think you need to slow to a crawl anytime there are cops or emergency vehicles on the side of the road. Unless you personally know someone, KEEP MOVING. I understand slowing down a little to ensure others' safety. But for the love of all that is good and holy, quit the rubbernecking. Some of us have places to go.
7. You think you can drive however the hell you want because you are in a giant truck. I almost got plowed this morning by a garbage truck who just pulled right across the street. But non-commercial trucks are just as bad.
8. You think you can talk on your phone, eat, and drive a stick shift all at the same time. You can't. Trust me. No matter how good you think you are driving, there are ten people behind you (and maybe a few in the car with you) wondering what the hell you are doing, and hoping you stop soon.
9. You take up two or three spaces every time you park. You aren't that special. Neither is your car. Get over yourself. Some of us are toting around toddlers and infants and it is a hassle to park 8 miles away just because some fucking self-righteous moron took up three spaces up close. If you are worried about scratches and dings, YOU park eight miles away. Besides, you are more likely to get scratches and dings from other drivers who are pissed off that you took up three spaces when you park like a jack-ass. Or, if my husband is in the right kind of quirky mood, you will come out to find your car covered with all the garbage from the inside of our car :)
10. Lastly, you are an idiotic driver if you read all nine of these and have no idea what I'm talking about, or think I am a jerk for belittling your daily driving routine.
I had an especially interesting drive to work today (I only go 10 miles. I can only imagine if I had to go farther). I have decided that you are an idiotic driver if:
1. You cannot figure out the left lane is for passing or turning. Passing or turning. Repeat to yourself. If you are in the left lane going exactly the speed limit, because you have to turn left ten miles down the road, well, you are a moron and shouldn't be surprised to see me behind you, riding your ass, honking incessantly and waving you off the road. Get a clue, move your ass to the right lane so everyone else can get where they need to go.
2. You slam on your brakes every time you see a cop car on the road. I mean, honestly. Do you really think the cop didn't see you going 80 mph, and then stomp on the brake? Give. Me. A. Break. But the scary thing is, most people who do this brake-stomping are already going the speed limit or close to it. Last time I checked most cops didn't pull people over for going the speed limit, so chill the fuck out. You are causing fifty car pile-ups behind you because the rest of us are assuming you are about to run over a small child or that a crater the size of the Grand Canyon has just opened up in the road the way you are frantically braking ahead of us.
3. You have to pull all the way over into oncoming traffic to make a right turn. Honestly. I actually saw someone do this today. If you can't make a right turn from your own lane, then maybe you shouldn't be driving. I can understand if you are in a semi, but most of the time the guilty driver is in a tiny compact or a sedan or something. If you can't handle a bigger car, don't buy one.
4. You assume that just because you clicked your blinker on, that no one is in your way and you have the right to change lanes. Ok, so at least you are ahead of most of the morons who don't even use their blinkers. HOWEVER, just because you flipped that little switch, doesn't actually mean that all the cars in the other lane magically disappeared. You still have to use these little reflective, rectangular doo-hickeys that we like to refer to as *mirrors* or turn your head a little and see if anyone is in your way. Just because I see your blinker doesn't mean I have to slow to a crawl to let you over, or that I myself can get over to let you in. Wait your turn and don't be a jerk.
5. You are wondering what a *blinker* is while reading 4. And I bet there are a lot of you (well, not MY blog readers, but out in the world in general). See, on the left side of your steering column there is a little stick that comes out. If you push it down, it means you want to turn left, or get in the left lane. If you flip it up, it signals that you want to go right or get in the right lane. I know how tricky that must be for some people, but you are going to have to work on it because the rest of us aren't freaking mind-readers and I, for one, have no problem letting you wreck into me.
6. You think you need to slow to a crawl anytime there are cops or emergency vehicles on the side of the road. Unless you personally know someone, KEEP MOVING. I understand slowing down a little to ensure others' safety. But for the love of all that is good and holy, quit the rubbernecking. Some of us have places to go.
7. You think you can drive however the hell you want because you are in a giant truck. I almost got plowed this morning by a garbage truck who just pulled right across the street. But non-commercial trucks are just as bad.
8. You think you can talk on your phone, eat, and drive a stick shift all at the same time. You can't. Trust me. No matter how good you think you are driving, there are ten people behind you (and maybe a few in the car with you) wondering what the hell you are doing, and hoping you stop soon.
9. You take up two or three spaces every time you park. You aren't that special. Neither is your car. Get over yourself. Some of us are toting around toddlers and infants and it is a hassle to park 8 miles away just because some fucking self-righteous moron took up three spaces up close. If you are worried about scratches and dings, YOU park eight miles away. Besides, you are more likely to get scratches and dings from other drivers who are pissed off that you took up three spaces when you park like a jack-ass. Or, if my husband is in the right kind of quirky mood, you will come out to find your car covered with all the garbage from the inside of our car :)
10. Lastly, you are an idiotic driver if you read all nine of these and have no idea what I'm talking about, or think I am a jerk for belittling your daily driving routine.
February 25, 2009
I laugh too much
Lately, I have been noticing how often I laugh. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, of course. In fact, one study found that mothers who breastfeed their babies and laugh often have healthier breast milk. So, my kids should be golden on that front. But what is the ettiquette for laughing in public? My laugh is pretty loud. I could be seen as a nuisance by some, I'm afraid. And have any of you ever gone to the movies and experienced that one person laughing when the rest of the audience is completely silent? I've got news for you--that lonely laughing hyena is me, folks.
I'm not usually self-conscious about my laughing. In fact, I never realized I laughed an abnormal amount until college. I was sitting watching a sit-com with one of my roommates. She suddenly turned to me and said, "I love watching shows with you. You always laugh out loud at everything. It's so funny." I was a novelty because I laughed at funny things. I just thought that was what everyone did. If something is funny, you laugh! Laugh, damn it!
One day this past week I went to the gym to work-out. I really needed to relieve some stress after a very, very trying day with my three year old daughter. My gym is fairly new and has all the latest fancy, shmancy equipment. All the cardio-machines have the built-in TV's and a jack to plug your earphones into so you can hear. After weight lifting for a while, I decided to plop myself down on one of the stationary bikes and watch one of the many sit-coms I love. The Big Bang Theory was on, and if you haven't seen it, it is pretty funny (obviously, or I wouldn't watch it). So, I start pedaling and watching the show. That Sheldon, what a crack up. He is so neurotic and hilariously literal, I am thinking to myself...and then I realize I am laughing out loud, sitting there in the midst of hundreds of people, none of whom are laughing out loud. How crazy must I look, sitting there pedaling and watching the little screen and laughing to myself? I mean, no one else can hear the show, and I look around and no one else is watching the same thing so they don't know what's going on.
But, oh well. Maybe if people at the gym start thinking I'm a little crazy I can get them to give up the machine they are on when it is too crowded. And at least my breast milk is choc-full of melatonin.
http://stanford.wellsphere.com/healthy-eating-article/mother-s-laughter-makes-breast-milk-healthier-for-baby/423471
I'm not usually self-conscious about my laughing. In fact, I never realized I laughed an abnormal amount until college. I was sitting watching a sit-com with one of my roommates. She suddenly turned to me and said, "I love watching shows with you. You always laugh out loud at everything. It's so funny." I was a novelty because I laughed at funny things. I just thought that was what everyone did. If something is funny, you laugh! Laugh, damn it!
One day this past week I went to the gym to work-out. I really needed to relieve some stress after a very, very trying day with my three year old daughter. My gym is fairly new and has all the latest fancy, shmancy equipment. All the cardio-machines have the built-in TV's and a jack to plug your earphones into so you can hear. After weight lifting for a while, I decided to plop myself down on one of the stationary bikes and watch one of the many sit-coms I love. The Big Bang Theory was on, and if you haven't seen it, it is pretty funny (obviously, or I wouldn't watch it). So, I start pedaling and watching the show. That Sheldon, what a crack up. He is so neurotic and hilariously literal, I am thinking to myself...and then I realize I am laughing out loud, sitting there in the midst of hundreds of people, none of whom are laughing out loud. How crazy must I look, sitting there pedaling and watching the little screen and laughing to myself? I mean, no one else can hear the show, and I look around and no one else is watching the same thing so they don't know what's going on.
But, oh well. Maybe if people at the gym start thinking I'm a little crazy I can get them to give up the machine they are on when it is too crowded. And at least my breast milk is choc-full of melatonin.
http://stanford.wellsphere.com/healthy-eating-article/mother-s-laughter-makes-breast-milk-healthier-for-baby/423471
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